Stuck - Andy Chapman
How am I supposed to move on?
How can I let another warm my cold hands?
How could I believe this elaborate con,
convincing me that I knew where I stand?
I feel your touch, your eyes, your breath
on every inch of my bared soul,
putting me through countless little deaths,
sensations taken, taking all control.
nothing I say,
nothing I do,
I chose to play this game,
yet I can't help but lose.
There's no escaping my burdened head,
the memories still kept alive and well.
Would it be easier to live if I were dead?
I'd at least escape this 8th circle of hell.
I can say I'm fine, live to lie another day,
I can sit and cry, be honest, tell my truth.
If I open up, confess to those I'd betrayed,
They'd see my deceit, they'd leave me too.
If my body and heart continue to break,
I'd have no choice but to fix it-
and while he's unable to cure this ache,
I know where to find the exit.
Andy Chapman is an Austin-based poet born and raised in Texas. Their evocative work has garnered recognition in local literary journals, including When The River Speaks, as well as Texas-based zines like GLAZE and A La Moda. You can explore more of their captivating poetry on Instagram, where they can be found at @TheAndyChapman. Currently a senior at Texas State University, Andy is eagerly pursuing a B.A. in English and is set to graduate in Spring 2024.